Dear Angelina, Don’t Ever Change.

A copy+paste from Jezebel about Angelina Jolie:

Dear Angelina, Look at you. You look like a goddess, and you’re bribing your kids with Chee-tos. Not even the “baked” kind. Do you know how Chee-tos are made? It’s a mysterious process called “extrusion.” I know that because I once worked near by the headquarters of the Snack Food Association and they had lots of brochures. You’re the pawn of corporate interest groups, Angie! (Fun fact: did you know the largest Chee-to known to exist is on display in a sleepy farming community in Iowa? It’s the size of a large lemon.) Anyway, back to you. Angie. Junk food. It’s not a healthy accessory to see on everybody. But I think we can all agree this is a healthy sign in you.

In the past I have — well, America has — worried about you. Worried about your eating disorder, that you’d lost that lovin’ feeling for Brad, that you were moving the kids around too much, that your public post-partum case was going to fuck up Shiloh, or that your estrangement from your dad betrayed some sort of forgiveness deficiency. It’s important, forgiveness, when you’re a parent; I mean, I don’t have to tell you this. First and foremost, you have to forgive yourself. You’re never going to please everyone; there will never be enough time; someone is always going to end up shrieking at the top of her lungs and smearing you with bright orange drool. It’s too easy to let shit like this get you down, to let it become an excuse to stop living.

A wise Muppet in a Dave Chappelle skit I watched one time sang a song that still resonates with me when I think about the most important tenet of parenting. I’m pretty sure the song was called “Fuck it.” More rich parents, I think we can all agree, need to “fuck it.” So your kids move from place to place like the very refugees your bleeding heart yearns to save? Fuck it. So you have a few glasses of wine with those twins? Fuck it. So you dab some cognac on Shiloh’s pacifier when she’s teething and are too busy touring war-torn camps to breastfeed? FUCK IT. Your kids have it all; money, two parents whose combined sordid pasts will never make them feel like anything is too fucked-up to be normal, and awesome haircuts. Good job. Fuck it.

Related: Chester’s Got A Brand New Bag [Slate]


0 Responses to “Dear Angelina, Don’t Ever Change.”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Marcelo Pimenta

Communication leader at Loves Fender guitars, snowboarding, trips and strong beers.
Work can be seen at Flickr and

Popular tags

1000, ways, to, open, bottle, beer adidas 180 amsterdam adi dassler lovebrand video nice a Advertising advertising, design, nicolas will, work, portfolio, seattle amsterdam amy winehouse, singing, beat it, michael jackson, Charlotte beautiful biggest swimming pool ever chile santiago algarrobo res blogs campus party brazil flickr sao paulo 2008 war ord brazil brazilian brussels car plates egypt cats cat animals pets ernst hemingway cigarette cigarettes quit smoking marlboro camel fruitella trying cold common craft hard subjects into easy ones seattle based crush trips early boy scout destinations travel diamantina carnival 2008 mg carnaval Did you ever fail as a friend ethos water crisis issue starbucks coffee helping eugenio recuenco photography photographer vogue fashion europe Eyeball stickers to place over eyelids festival freebord snowboarding board slide experience snow ice freeze frog toad sapo peaceful animals amphibious german jung von matt cinemaxx punching out ad creative guitar player mauro hector santos brazil sao paulo left ice hotel arctic circle sweden snow bar church ideas jazz jezebel elle fashion world photography anorexia skinny kit kat ultime machine kurt cobain anniversary birthday february 20th 41 years learn handle women cats magazine luiza mallu magalhaes altas horas brazilian teenager singer m marcelo marketing married snowboarding snow cold two riders monkey trunk ad commercial video nice fun monkey zoo animal smile cage glass monster jobs stork ad carrying beak baby Music netherlands new pearl against cigarette fight smoking tobacco smokes tr photography amateur professional digital flickr photography amazing child guide mother camera photography working among animals trees rivers having f pimenta place quit rain cold snow weather happy happiness retail renting ethical jezebel consumerist sambo samba roda villa das flores ribeirao preto sao pa sao paulo singer snow snowboarding snowboarding crashes accident wounds snowboarding journal frequency cool stuff ski snow cold snow flickr walk this way railroad tobacco tommy hilfiger website advertising photography pictures TOPlay earphones safety while driving traveling music trip vail ski station colorado adrenaline high summit top US wallet gun cool leather water world global warming concern freak angels wine photography corks where bark YouTube Launching Live Video This Year

%d bloggers like this: